Inuyasha vs the kibble from hell
by nano2
Summary: Read the title. This is rated for mild swearing. r/r
1. chapter one

DC: I don't own the characters of Inu-yasha, because I'm not rich, and I'm not smart. And be sure, that even if I WAS rich or smart enough, I don't have enough time. And I'm lazy. So if you wanna sue me, be sure to think it through first. (I'm not implying that you should sue me. Please don't.)  
  
I've had this account ever since the August of 2002. For some reason, probably being that I'm way too lazy to update or even finish a fic that I began, I haven't put up anything ever since. And then school began, and I was suddenly bombarded with work and stuff like that. Of course, with school, came other stuff. Sigh.  
  
Well, this is the second fic I've ever put up (I deleted another one a long time ago.), so don't make fun of me for it. Please review, and if you want to, PLEASE FLAME ME! Only, be sure to include WHY you're flaming me, because I'd like to respond. Haha, flames are so much fun.  
  
I'd also like to take this one part to thank my friends for giving me inspiration and stuff. Be sure to read my friend's fanfics, under the penname "Lethe".  
  
Um... Oh, and please excuse all of the scary grammar.  
  
That's enough rants for now. Be thankful this isn't like my other fic, where I kept going on and on and on. And on.  
  
Oh, and enjoy, and please, PLEASE review.  
  
##################################################### "I hate you. I hate you SO much. You and your stupid worldly desires. Isn't one day enough? Two even? It's always, always three. I hate you. I hate you SO much..." As always, Inu-yasha was up in his tree, waiting. For Kagome, of course. It was strange how she didn't know about it. She had always thought that he went out to find more jewel shards (After all, that was all he cared about, right?), but oh how wrong you are, Kagome. Who would have known that in most of the days that she was gone to her own world, he would spend the hours camped out in the tree, and occasionally take a break to walk around? He had been in that tree for three days now, and his patience was beginning to wear off. It had seemed that, once again, he would have to go and get her himself.  
  
"Why do you always leave? It's boring here without you," he said, as if she was there in front of him.  
  
Though it was unknown to the hanyou, Miroku had crept into the bushes, to see if he was still moping in the tree. Well, he was, thought Miroku. As he was about to leave, he heard what the hanyou was saying. Curiously, he listened, and for a moment, was surprised at what he heard.  
  
"Why do you always leave me? It's not fair." He looked up at the sky, while Miroku was dumbfounded.  
  
"Things are always so boring."  
  
"Hm. It seems that he's finally done something right," muttered Miroku. Normally, Inu-yasha would have heard him, but right now, he was deep in thought.  
  
After a while, since he saw that Inu-yasha wasn't saying anything else, Miroku decided to leave. After all, he'd use it for blackmail later. Ah, life was good. Suddenly, though, Inu-yasha started talking again.  
  
"You have some nerve, leaving us. Is it we, that make you want to leave?"  
  
"Astounding," said Miroku once again stunned. This was going to make him rich.  
  
Just as Miroku was about to leave, again, Inu-yasha started talking, AGAIN. Only this time, it was just the opposite.  
  
"YOU WENCH! IF YOU DON'T GET BACK, MIROKU'S GONNA DRIVE ME CRAZY! SHIPPO IS REALLY BEGINNING TO PISS ME OFF! AND IF WE DON'T FIND A JEWEL SHARD SOON, I'M SURE THAT SANGO IS GOING TO GET USED TO SLACKING OFF! IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU GOT YOUR ASS BACK HERE!"  
  
At this, Miroku was annoyed. So annoyed, that this annoyance got to his head. He stormed out of the bushes and stood directly under the tree in which Inu-yasha was anticipating Kagome's arrival. Inu-yasha was taken by surprise.  
  
"WAH--?! Miroku?! How long have you been here?"  
  
Miroku gave him a very dangerous and murderous glare. He talked through his tightly clenched teeth. "Inu-yasha... How many times MUST I tell you..." Our hanyou watched as Miroku's hand reached for that staff of his. Uh oh. This was bad.  
  
"...NOT TO SPEAK OF WOMEN IN THAT MANNER?!"  
  
It was pretty obvious what was about to happen. As Inu-yasha looked down at the crazy, twitching man, he tried to persuade him not to do what he was about to do.  
  
"NO, NO! DON'T DO IT! I DIDN'T MEAN ANY OF THAT!"  
  
It was too late, for Miroku had hurled the staff in Inu-yasha's direction. The poor demon watched as the staff came closer, and all in an instant, it made contact with his head, causing him to fall out of the tree and onto a rock. His head was hit pretty badly, and he fell into unconsciousness. Well, you could tell that it was a typical day in the Sengoku Jidai.  
  
##################################################### While it was war in Lady Kaede's hut (For, of course, Inu-yasha had found out about how Miroku had heard the rest of his comments.), in present day Japan, Kagome enjoyed the luxuries of normal life. It was perfect. The weather was awesome, the birds were singing (I guess), she had a pocket full of money and she was going to spend it at one of her favorite places (And just GUESS what that is!). On her way there, she got an ice cream cone and almost cried at the taste of the sweet creamy stuff. It had been such a long time since had tasted food this good.  
  
Ever since the first day she crossed over into the Feudal Age, Kagome had a really hard time doing this on a regular basis. In fact, doing something as simple as eating an ice cream cone was getting harder and harder. The days she spent away from her own time were constantly increasing. It was almost as if it wasn't HER time anymore; the Feudal Age seemed to be her home now.  
  
Still, a walk in a park was still very rare, and much needed every once in a while. She decided to enjoy it while it lasted.  
  
"HIGURASHIIII!! YOU'RE BETTER?! OH, I'M SO HAPPY!" Yes, she had bumped into HIM again. (A note from the author: OK. Hojo-kun is a very annoying character. He just pisses me off. I respect other people's opinions, about how "But he's so dense, it's adorable!" and "How can anyone hate someone like Hojo-kun?". Well, the answer is simple. He's a MORON! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! If anyone reviews, tell me if you like him or not... I just wanna see who does and who doesn't.) It had been a while since she had seen him. The stupid memory still stood in her mind, how she had ran out on him. It had happened twice. (Um, when I made this fic, I didn't want it to be unrealistic. That is, I wanted to write what the characters actually WOULD do. I've read a whole bunch of fics where the characters are totally...well, out of character. Kagome, being the 'bubbles and hearts' personality, tends to give everyone a second chance, a quality that I, personally, can't stand.)  
  
"Hojo? I haven't seen you in such a long time! How have things been?"  
  
"Well, I think that the real question is, how have YOU been? You're always so ill all the time! You shouldn't be out, Kagome. You might catch a summer cold."  
  
A summer cold? Whatever. "Uh... Thanks for your concern, Hojo, but I think I'm fine, for now."  
  
Hojo lit up, and he looked the same as she had seen him two times before. Uh oh. "So you're OK now? That's good..."  
  
"Y-yeah. I guess so." Kagome, now being sort of bored, started to turn to leave, but Hojo caught her by the hand, causing her to drop the ice cream (Ohhh. What a senseless waste of ice cream.) "Uhm... Hojo? Uh.."  
  
"I-I was just, you know, thinking, that since you've been in bed for so long, you probably haven't seen any movies lately, and well..." Of course, Hojo was so nervous that he totally forgot about all the wonderful movies that came on television.  
  
"So, are you asking me out again?" She couldn't help a blush. Hojo smiled a little. "Yeah. The movies this time. Wanna come? And don't worry, I have a plan this time. I have found that since you have such a frail and weak body, you can't do things like normal people. Therefore, I have spent long hours on something that I think can help." He smiled.  
  
Kagome, on the other hand, was almost hysterical. She nodded, very reluctantly, and followed the idiot....I mean, boy, to the movie theatre.  
  
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GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! WHAT A STOOOOOOOPID ENDING TO SUCH A STOOOOOOOOPID CHAPTER!!! Anyway, sorry about that. It just so happened that I have to go on a family trip over the weekend and I had to do this really fast. I'll probably re-do this later or something (It's gonna nag at me.).  
  
Tell me what you think of it so far. I know that this really has no point to it, but the plot will roll in soon enough. Review, flame, but do SOMETHING. 


	2. chapter two

BACK FROM THE DEAD! WOOHOO! I can't believe the number of people that reviewed the past day (This was written on April 13, by the way.)! A whole five (For if it was not a WHOLE five, I'd be worried.)! Thanks to you all!  
  
Wow, I guess I'm not alone in the "I hate Hojo" thing. I mean, it isn't deniable. The boy is a lunatic! An idiot! A moron! (etc)  
  
Well, I hope that this chapter will turn out better than the other one. Yeesh... That one will leave a bad impression in my memory...forever! I can't believe I'm stressing this much on such a stupid little thing. * Hits myself across the face *  
  
Well, here you go, chapter two!!  
  
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"So, you'll give me TWO chocolate bars?"  
  
"ANYTHING!"  
  
We rejoin our friends in the Feudal Age. In Kaede's hut. As told before, Inu-yasha was hit pretty badly, all thanks to Miroku.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
Kaede was having an average day. No, wait... It couldn't be average. Average, for her, was to wake up to the sound of Inu-yasha and Miroku having a fight. Or Inu-yasha and Kagome having a fight. Or Inu-yasha and Shippo, or Sango, having a fight. One time, she even woke to the sound of Inu-yasha having a "fist" fight with Kouga. She just worried that one day, she'd awaken to the sound of Inu-yasha and SESSHOMARU in a "fist" fight. (Note from the author: If you are reading this fic, you are most likely an Inu-yasha fan. Therefore, you must already know that a "fist" fight for Inu-yasha is like bloody warfare for us "mortals". He's right. We are SO frail.)  
  
Now, she was just doing normal priestess duties; curing the sick, healing the wounded, stuff like that. But at around noon, while she was enjoying her time off, Miroku came to her door. He had Inu-yasha's hair bunched up in his hand. Obviously, Inu-yasha had passed out somehow, and Miroku had dragged him all the way back to the village.  
  
"M'lady. I'm afraid that Inu-yasha needs some taking care of."  
  
She looked down. If this were normal, Miroku would at least have looked a LITTLE angry. But right now, he almost looked amused. So, she thought, this must have been about women again. She was disgusted at the thought, be she couldn't help but laugh a little.  
  
"Aye, put him on that there bed and let him rest a bit," she said. The last thing she wanted was to be, once again, alone in the room with the hanyou. (NOT LIKE THAT!!! EWW EWW EWW EWW EWWWWW!!!)  
  
"What will we ever do with him?" With that, Miroku proceeded to throw Inu- yasha onto the little straw mat that Kaede called a bed. "He's hopeless."  
  
"I agree," said Kaede, as she made her way out of the hut to find some business to attend to.  
  
Now that the two were alone, Miroku decided to carry on his business; Inu- yasha was beginning to stir awake.  
  
"Wh-where...am..?"  
  
"Now, Inu-yasha, wake up. You're in Kaede's hut."  
  
At the sound of Miroku's voice, Inu-yasha jerked awake. It was HIM that did this to me!  
  
"Miroku, you jerk! What's the idea?! It wasn't any of your business!" Staying true to himself, Inu-yasha looked about ready for a fight despite the throbbing pain in his head. But Miroku, being his traveling partner for quite some time now, knew what to do in this sort of situation.  
  
"You look as if you need some help. If you love Lady Kagome that much, you shouldn't proceed to call her such names." He had on that sly little trickster grin. (Sarcastically Jeez, I have SUCH a way with words, don't I?)  
  
Inu-yasha's heart skipped a beat, and he tried desperately not to blush. He couldn't think of the right words at the moment. All that came out of his mouth were random insults.  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
"That's right, two chocolate bars. But how am I so sure that you actually WILL keep this a secret? You're not the kind of person." Inu-yasha eyed Miroku suspiciously. Out of all the rest of them, it was most likely that Inu-yasha knew Miroku the best.  
  
Miroku looked hurt. "Oh, you don't have to worry, Inu-yasha. I wouldn't tell a soul. Now..." He got up and motioned for Inu-yasha to follow him. He did.  
  
It turned out that Miroku had led him to the well. The whole time, he had a blank expression, and Inu-yasha was just dying to know what was up.  
  
"So... Why are we back here?" he inquired.  
  
With his back still turned, Miroku began to speak, softly at first. "Inu- yasha, let me give you a lesson on women."  
  
Inu-yasha (almost) laughed. "No. Even if us two were the last two men alive, I wouldn't take lessons on women from you."  
  
"Listen well, Inu-yasha! I won't tell you this again."  
  
Inu-yasha listened.  
  
"A woman's heart can be compared to a rose. It is simple, yet sophisticated. It is beautiful, yet it can prick. Sometimes it can be closed off from the world, and sometimes, it can look at it openly. Hear, Inu-yasha, that if you treat it well, it will stay beautiful and it will always grow. But if it is not treated well, it will eventually die." (Note from the author: falls out of chair OHHHH BOY, THAT WAS A GOOD ONE! MY heart?! BEAUTIFUL?! Not in a hundred and a half million years.) Miroku looked calmly over to a very confused looking Inu-yasha. "Do you understand my words?"  
  
"Feh. I understand; I already know. But what in the seven hells does that have to do with anything?"  
  
It was infuriating. Miroku was mad. He clenched his teeth, and grabbed Inu-yasha's ear. "IT MEANS, FOOL, THAT IF YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT KAGOME, YOU SHOULD GO AND CHECK ON HER!!" And while Inu-yasha was still stunned, with the sensitive ears and all, Miroku half threw him down the well. Inu- yasha cursed him all the way down.  
  
Miroku stood up and congratulated himself. "That should get him off on the right foot," he said to himself, smiling. As he was walking back to the village, he thought things over. "I wonder if Sango can keep a secret?"  
  
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"OH! You must be Kagome. We hear so much about you from Hojo. You poor, poor child. How's your rheumatism?" It was Hojo's mother speaking. Somehow, Hojo had managed to get Kagome to his house. This was where he would reveal his "great pan".  
  
Kagome bowed out of respect. "Um... I think I'm better now." Her grandfather would never see the light of day again.  
  
Hojo put his hand to Kagome's shoulder. "You have no idea how brave she is, Mother. Just four days ago, she had to go through knee surgery, and look at her now! She's up and running. It seems that noting can keep her down." He sneaked a smile at her.  
  
"Oh, you poor darling."  
  
It seems that it runs in the family, eh? Kagome was then led to Hojo's room. It was a large house, that it was. It had four bedrooms, five bathrooms, a large kitchen, and it was really pretty obvious that his family was financially secure. As she went inside his room, she noticed that there was a picture of herself on his closet. It seemed that he didn't notice it (Probably forgot.), so she didn't pay much attention to it. She...really didn't want to bring up the subject.  
  
"You have a really nice house, Hojo. Thanks for inviting me over... I hope I'm not that much trouble." She was trying her best to be polite. It was kind of hard. She knew that she had to somehow get back home. Inu-yasha was probably going to kill her today. She remembered the look he had on when she told him that she was going for another three days. "Go to your own stupid world," he had said. Miroku must have gotten to him, she thought. It looked as if he was trying really hard to agree with her for once, but it hurt a lot.  
  
Hojo, by now, was looking for this great idea somewhere in his closet. It was taking a while. For Kagome, it was painfully long. Every five seconds, she'd look to her watch. Uh oh.  
  
"Hojo, can I use the phone for a minute? It's sort of an emergency."  
  
Hojo stopped dead. He looked over to Kagome as if she were about to have a heart attack (Actually, I think that that's really it.). There was a lot of concern in his eyes. Kagome realized now, that if she wanted to communicate with him, she had to say things in a way that didn't seem life threatening (to herself... I know, that sounds really stupid.). Afraid that he'd rush her to the hospital, she waved her arms wildly and told him that she was feeling fine. (Um... Honestly, if someone did that, I'd be sure that there was something wrong with them. But this is Hojo. Come on.)  
  
Kagome was led downstairs. In the kitchen, she found the phone. She picked it up and dialed her number.  
  
Over at the Higurashi house, the phone was ringing.  
  
"Sota, get the phone please! I'm busy working!" Of course, Mrs. Higurashi wasn't REALLY working. The Higurashi's were just the sort of family that thought a phone call was a burden on their shoulders.  
  
Naturally, Sota waited until the answering machine came on. Hey, give the kid a break, I'd do it too.  
  
At Hojo's house, Kagome waited. And waited, and waited some more. After a while, it got quite frustrating. Finally, the machine beeped.  
  
"SOTA!! PICK UP THE PHONE OR YOU'LL NEVER SEE YOUR DREAMCAST AGAIN!!" she screamed. If one of Hojo's family members had heard her... Umm, let's just say that thank goodness they didn't. She waited for her brother to pick up on the other line.  
  
"Oh, sorry, Kagome, I thought you were Aunt Megumi or something (I'll have to do a separate fic on that. ^___^)," he said blankly. "Yeah...um...what did you wanna talk about?"  
  
Kagome got to business. "Sota, would you mind telling Inu-yasha something for me?" Naturally, Sota agreed; Inu-yasha was his role-model.  
  
"If he comes to our house and asks for me (or...DEMANDS for me), say that I'm somewhere in town. Last time I did that, he searched for five hours before actually finding me. That should buy me some time."  
  
"Why, Kagome? Where are you? You'd better not be at some_"  
  
"I'm at the movies, Sota, and if you suggest that one more time, I'll never get rid of those demons under your bed (I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY!!! I HAD TO SAY THAT!) again." This convinced him. He would do just as she said. Surely.  
  
"Ok, Kagome, I'll do what you said. So, when Inu-yasha comes, I'm supposed to say that you're in town somewhere, right? Gotcha." With that, the conversation ended.  
  
Kagome reluctantly put down the phone. She wiped some sweat off of her forehead; she was never that much of a liar. Obviously, she had lied to her brother. (Note from the author: Did you ever notice that? Kagome can't lie. For example, look at the episode/volume if you're talking manga when Kikyo, unfortunately, got resurrected. Inu-yasha was like, "You know, that look on your face is really getting on my nerves." And then she started stuttering. "Uh...n-nothing. Nothing." Or something along that line. It sort of bugs me. She SHOULD be able to lie. I'll leave now, I'm ranting mindlessly again.)  
  
"Higurashi! Oh, I was afraid you got lost or something. Come up to my room, I found the thing I was looking for." Hojo smiled and led her up to his room. (Doesn't he always smile? It'll bug me to no end.) Kagome followed. Had he heard the conversation?  
  
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WOOHOOO!!! DONE WITH CHAPTER TWO!!!! Well, it didn't come out like I'd like it to...but beggars can't be choosers. I promise the next few chapters will be longer (At least, I hope they will.), and the plot WILL come in a little while. Hmm... Oh yeah. Updates will be usually weekly, and once again, thanks for your reviews.  
  
INU-YASHA RUUUUUUUUULES!!! AND SO DOES RUMIKO TAKAHASHIIIII!!! I had to say that. (As if you didn't already know.)  
  
P.S. There was ONE more thing I wanted to say. Remember that part where Sota said, "You'd better not be at some_"? What do YOU guys think he was about to say? I remember that when I was writing it, I had a billion different explanations. It'll be kinda interesting to see if someone had the same idea that I did. ^___^ 


End file.
